Whatever happens, whether we grant you a provisional clearance or not, know that we consider you a true patriot for having the courage to put your name, honor, and even your life on the line for the greater good.
Our artificial intelligence, Tachyon, is now poring over your social media profiles, school transcripts, medical records, travel to foreign countries, and criminal background. If you've lied in any way on your application, we already know and will be taking the appropriate measures.
Tachyon has the power to sift through thousands of applications a day, so we'll have an answer for you within a few short minutes. We'll notify you via email if you're approved.
If you turn out to be who we think you are, the world can rest easy tonight. One of the public's best and brightest is about to join our ranks.
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